A Fall From Grace. Mail Order Bride Western Page 27

There was the fear of meeting a tyrannical husband, as some of her friends had. But her heart was mostly full of hope. Finn knew how she looked; she had made sure her father wrote about it. He had been single like her, and hoped for companionship and a woman for his home. She was sure she would be able to give him that, a home that fulfilled his needs.

  “Every need.” She thought to herself, blushing. Her friends and cousins had all teased her as they had come to say their goodbyes.

  “Now you will really know what a man wants from a woman. A wife’s duties aren’t just about the household, you know.”

  She knew very well, her body had developed early, and her mind had always been keen. She had pieced together the sensual truths about life at an early age. But her house had been forever filled with people, and there really had been no time for those thoughts to bear any fruit. It seemed like this train ride was the first time in her life she had truly been alone with her thoughts.

  She had a small suitcase with her, carrying her few belongings. Some dresses, that her mother and sisters had stitched, a picture of her family, that they had taken to give her as a remembrance, at great cost and some money, stitched into the lining of her bag. She marveled at how little she had left of her old life, now that she was going to start a new one and as the train screeched to a halt, she picked up her luggage and smoothed down her dress, preparing for a fresh start.

  She stepped off the train, her bonnet slightly skewed to one side, her wide skirt blowing in the breeze and her bodice hugging her tight. She stood at the station, waiting for someone to come looking for her, eyeing the crowd for her prospective husband. There were about two dozen people there, and soon Finn was standing in front of her.

  “Miss Irene?” He inquired, staring at her intently. He was wearing a plain black shirt and grey trousers, suspenders peeking from underneath his grey coat. It was too warm to be dressed like that, but his outfit had been obviously cleaned and prepared for the occasion. She blushed, noticing his rugged good looks and piercing blue eyes. She hadn’t been expecting someone this good looking and it had unnerved her a little.

  “Mr. Edwards?” She asked politely.

  “Finn, my lady, I have never been one for formalities.” He looked behind him, and a young boy hurried forward to pick up her luggage, greeting her with a tip of his hat.

  Finn offered her his arm and she placed her hand on it. It all seemed so strange to her now, after protecting her honor her entire life, her parents had now sent her to go to a stranger’s house to bed and marry him. She hadn’t even thought about the awkwardness of meeting someone for the first time, a stranger she knew nothing about. Suddenly, she was nervous and she couldn’t say one word to him.

  Finn was quiet too; he had watched her get off the train, with a beautiful but uncertain smile on her face. She wasn’t as heavy as he had imagined her to be. Her waist still tapered pleasantly, her belly and her arms covered yet betraying their fullness. Her face was round and pleasant, her cheeks flushed, her lips full and her liquid brown eyes searching. Her skin was flawless, gleaming in the sun as he seeked her out. But right after he had introduced himself to her, she seemed to have gotten a little lost.

  He imagined, she had been unimpressed or upset by something and tried to figure out what that could be. All his uncertainties came rushing back, as he thought about the fancies that she could have had, that he had been unable to fulfill.

  “We have a quiet life at the ranch, Miss Irene. One that I hope you will come to cherish.”

  “I have been longing to get out of the bustle. My household had ten members.” Irene had suddenly found her tongue, jumping at the chance to speak.

  They travelled by his buggy to the ranch, with Finn riding his beautiful stallion alongside. He wanted to ask a lot of questions, but his aunt had written to him fearful of his rough demeanor. She had instructed him to not frighten the poor girl with too much information on the first day. He needed to let her get settled in first. The priest was coming over the next day itself. He didn’t want to share his house with Irene with any uncertainty remaining in the match. They were going to be wed the very next day and after that he would slowly but surely explain all that was required of her.

  As they pulled into the ranch home, they saw all of Finn’s servants and workers collected outside to see their new mistress. His manservant Eddie had a bouquet that he presented to her with a blush. Irene heard all the introductions that Finn made, nodding and smiling at everyone.

  He showed her the house, the kitchen was handled by the servants and the dining area was right next to it, but seldom used. Finn had gotten used to eating alone, when he wanted to, in his room or the study as he worked. He showed him his father’s room, which was kept unused after his death and then he took her to his room.

  “This is my room. It’s not very well kept, but it’s served a single man well.”

  Irene stood silently at the door blushing and Finn took her to her room and asked her to take as much time as she wanted to freshen up.

  “Tomorrow, the preacher will be here. We shall be wed in the morning; I hope you will be prepared.” He turned and left.

  Irene sat on her bed and felt her head spin. It had been too much to take in, Finn was handsome, but quiet and closed off and she still had no idea how to talk to him. But, they were to be wed the very next day, so there would be no time to get to know each other. The house was big but it did sorely need a woman’s touch. There had been an effort to clean up, but there was dust everywhere. Finn’s room had been almost bare, with its bed and racks full of papers. She was going to live in that room with him, and share that bed and these thoughts were slowly making her dizzy.

  She undressed and got into bed. She needed to rest for a while, let her sleeping mind process all the information that was troubling her. She would wake up in an hour or so and then she would be able to think.

  Chapter 3

  Irene woke up when it was already dark inside. She had slept for four hours straight, the dark outside her windows unnerved her and she bolted up, dressing hurriedly. She put her hair up, soft curls framing her face and washed up. When she climbed down the stairs, she found the house mostly empty. After a lifetime of a bustling household, the emptiness made her nervous. She walked into the kitchen and found the servants preparing for supper.

  They told her Finn was out riding, taking stock of the livestock, and he would be back shortly. Sally, a young maid with an unfortunate scar on her face shyly asked Irene if she could be her personal maid. The happy bustle of the servants had put Irene at ease. The cook was an old man with a jolly red face and Sally felt a little more comfortable. Sally was fussing over her, and Irene agreed to let her be her personal maid if Finn agreed. Irene felt like the mistress for the first time, a woman who would be in charge of a household. She couldn’t have ever imagined having a personal servant to help her with her with dressing up and other trivial things and it suddenly made her feel very grown up.

  She oversaw the cooking, asking about Finn’s tastes and adding some of her own cooking skills to their simple supper. She asked them to lay the table and found that the dinnerware had not been used for a long time. It was a rich household that didn’t live like it at all.

  When Finn came back, he went straight to the study and Irene had to go to him.

  “I thought we could have supper together, in an hour?” She looked at him questioningly.

  “I have work to do and I should have told you, I dine alone, after I’m done with work. And, don’t you have a lot to prepare for tomorrow? You have already wasted all day sleeping; I think you should concentrate on the wedding, leave my affairs be, for today.” He went back to looking at his papers.

  Irene felt tears start to sting her eyes, so she turned back and left without a word. She missed the warmth of her family, Finn seemed distant and cold on the very first day they had met, and now they were supposed to get married the next day.

  She had no idea how to handle him, and wished she
had someone to turn to for advice. She went to her room and started unpacking. Her wedding dress was a simple cream colored dress, with lace on the neckline, and a wide skirt with an accentuated back. She hung the dress and started to undress to try it on, making sure she needed to make no alterations. She took off her dress, looking at herself in the full length mirror. She didn’t have one at home, and she stood in front of it, her corset making her breasts spill out in two magnificent mounds, but she hated her arms and her thick legs that she could see under the skeleton of her under skirt.

  Suddenly, the door burst open, Finn was standing at the door, she let out a little yelp and turned around, her back towards him.

  “Sorry.” She wasn’t sure whether he had left or was standing behind her. Tomorrow was going to their wedding night, and part of her wanted to turn around to check, but she couldn’t even get herself to turn her head.

  “I was going to ask if you had taken your supper. We could dine together.”

  “I’ll be out in a minute; I was just trying my wedding dress.” She heard her voice choke with embarrassment.

  Finn walked out of the door, unwilling to take his eyes off her. He had been unable to stop himself from standing there shamelessly, staring at the back of her thighs, her flesh inviting and smooth. He had seen a flash of her breasts and he wished she hadn’t turned away. She was going to be his wife tomorrow and he couldn’t wait to explore her body and all its curves.

  He had been mad at her for falling asleep. He had been excited to get to know her and he felt she had shown no interest in him. He had waited for her to emerge from her room, but after a couple of hours he just left to complete his rounds of the estate, seething with anger.

  But after he had told her that he’d dine alone, the servants had brought in a beautifully set up tray, which made him feel slightly sorry for the tone he had taken with her. And now, he couldn’t help but wait for her to join him, unsure of what to say to her, his soon to be wife.

  Irene walked into the dining room, in her demure dress, her cleavage hidden and her body masked by the fabric that he wanted to tear off her. She sat in front of him, her eyes unable to meet his.

  “I was slightly busy then, I hope you weren’t offended.” Finn asked.

  “No, I understand. You have a vast estate to run.” She didn’t know what else to say to him.

  “The pastor will reach at ten in the morning. I have no family or friends that I wish to invite, so there will just be the staff in attendance. Is your wedding dress in order?” Finn wanted to say something about his walking in on her, to see how she reacted.

  Irene just blushed and nodded.

  They both ate in relative silence, waiting for the other person to start a conversation. Their impending wedding and the chance encounter was all they had in common for now, but etiquette made them both unable to bring those up. Irene was still reeling from the scolding she had received in the study and the intrusion in her room. But he seemed kind to the servants and she couldn’t decide how to feel about him just yet.

  Finn walked her up to her room after they had finished eating.

  “I hope everything in the house is to your satisfaction. I look forward to tomorrow.” He turned and left.

  Irene got into bed and thought about her day. He seemed to talk at her, not to her. She told herself she would wait for the wedding, and then she as sure she could make things better. He had just been alone too long. Men with a solitary life on a ranch, wouldn’t really know how to act with a woman, she told herself.

  Chapter 4

  Next morning, Irene woke up to Sally’s knocks on her door. She asked her to enter, and sat up in bed.

  “I was going to ask madam, if you wanted me to draw you a bath.”

  Irene nodded; it was seven in the morning. Life in her house started even earlier, everyone needed to use the outhouse, and the earlier you rose, the less you had to wait. The cooking and cleaning started real early too, with more than ten mouths to feed every day.

  Sally led her to the bath, and she sat in the copper tub, her tired and aching body loving the warm water. Sally had added some flower petals to the bath.

  “I wish I had some perfume to add to it ma’am. It is your wedding after all.” Sally was scrubbing her back with a rough towel.

  “Where’s your master?” Irene asked her.

  “He rode out early; he’s bringing the pastor himself. Our pastor Williams was a dear friend of sir’s father and he’s taken the carriage. They’ll return at nine.”

  Irene suddenly remembered that there would have to be some form of a wedding feast. She hadn’t given it any thought and she was suddenly panicking.

  She gave the servants instructions, and finally, it was almost nine before she could go and get dressed. Sally helped her get dressed; her gown was beautiful, with delicate lace, which her mother had salvaged from an old dress of hers. Her hair was coiled in a neat bun and she had no jewellery to add to it, but her dress didn’t seem to need any embellishment.

  Sally brought a white veil to Irene, “Sir’s mother’s, this was. He wants ma’am to wear this.”

  Irene took the delicate net in her hands and fixed it to her hair. She finally felt like a bride and all the butterflies in her stomach found new life.

  She admired herself in the mirror. Finn and the pastor were downstairs and she knew she had to hurry. The wedding was going to be under the oldest biggest tree on the ranch, and Finn told a servant to tell Irene that he and the pastor were heading to it. Irene was to cross the small distance on the buggy.

  The tree had ribbons tied to it, with some ranch hands and servants in attendance. As she got off the buggy, the wedding party took their places. She walked up to Finn, who was wearing a brown three piece suit, his hair slicked to one side. He looked very handsome, and she wished her family and friends could see her now. She was marrying a rich, good looking man and she had finally proved all her mother’s doomsday descriptions of her life wrong.

  Finn lifted her veil, and she looked up at him, her new husband who she would now belong to. They said their vows, and the pastor announced them man and wife, this couple that had just met, who knew next to nothing about each other. The strangers that now belonged to each other.

  The wedding party went over to the house and Irene and Finn barely spoke to each other during the whole affair.

  Finn had ridden home and left the buggy for Irene and the pastor. During the meal, they were both sitting next to each other, but Finn hadn’t spoken a word to her. Irene felt slightly troubled but she played the demure bride’s part well, talking with Pastor Williams but keeping quiet most of the time.

  Once Pastor Williams left, Irene and Finn were left standing alone in the house and neither of them could muster up any real conversation. Finn had been trying to ignore the thoughts of lust that filled him. He had been upset when she wasn’t at the door to greet him and the pastor. But, she was the blushing bride and it could have been appropriate for her to be late. Finn felt confused and powerless, he had lived his entire life trying to be a self fulfilled man. He wanted to feel a lot less nervous about this union than he did.

  “I should go and take my round of the ranch. We don’t want the ranch hands to have had too much to drink in celebration.”

  Irene nervously fidgeted with her hands; she wanted to tell him to stay. She wanted to feel some sort of affection from him. She hadn’t quite expected romance, but she had expected companionship. It hurt her pride to ask him to stay, so she just nodded.

  “You should get dinner started; I will be back in a couple of hours.” Finn left, his mind still figuring out how he wanted to handle this. He felt lost in this relationship. He found her attractive, but he didn’t feel connected to her. He didn’t want to put out a false front; he didn’t want to pretend to be a loving husband. He just wanted her to know he would want his space and he expected her to be comfortable with it.

  His ranch needed him; he looked over his life stock and went to the liv
ing quarters of his workers. It was after sundown and the men were drinking as he had expected. He was greeted with whoop, the men toasted to his wedding and invited him to sit with them and have a drink.

  Finn felt he could do with some liquid courage, his wife was back home and he wanted to feel less pressured to put up the husband act. He wanted her in his bed, but they had just met and he knew he should make her feel comfortable for now. He couldn’t jump her on their wedding night, a day after they had met, it could scare her.

  He left the impromptu celebrations feeling slightly drunk. He rode back home and found Irene sitting in the study, back in her regular dress. His ride back had been spent taking off her wedding dress in her mind and he felt a stab of disappointment.

  “Dinner is ready.” Irene got up, vacating his chair.

  “I’m not really hungry right now.”Finn sat down heavily on the chair.

  Irene stood in front of him, her mind furiously working out what to say to him. She could tell he had imbibed and that didn’t really bother him. But she had slaved with the servants on her wedding night, just to be able to be a dutiful wife. And he didn’t seem to care about any of that.

  “I have to go over some bills. I shall send word to you for supper, or you could eat now, if you so desire.” Finn felt his head spin. He needed to breathe a little before he could formulate a strategy on how to talk to her.

  Finn sat and finished some bills, drinking water to quiet the thudding in his head.

  He called for Sally to find out if Irene had eaten. He had asked her to be Irene’s maid, and he had hoped the young girl would help him keep a check on his new wife. Sally told him Irene had retired to her room without food, so she sent him to call her.

  Irene came down in her wedding dress. She had thought long and hard about this, and she needed to be able to win his affection. She decided to wear the wedding dress to dinner, to remind him of their nuptials.

  Finn had almost taken an audibly sharp breath in when she walked in. He stood up as she entered, taking his seat after she sat down.